Women, don’t make cupcakes

I attended a women’s higher education workshop this week that shared key learnings about gender dynamics. It was a great mix of lectures, quiet introspection, and group chats.

One of the examples the host used highlighted how gender biases can manifest in workplace communications. The scenario involved a man and a woman who were both promoted, with their promotions getting announced in the same memo.

The memo described the man’s promotion in terms of his achievements (i.e. outcomes), while the woman’s blurb focused on her work ethic (i.e. behavior) and the fact that she brought cupcakes to the office.

The example illustrated how seemingly well-intentioned (or, let’s face it, ill-intentioned) comments can perpetuate stereotypes that undermine female professionals. The woman is presented as the ‘office mom’ and the man is a ‘go-getter’.

But here’s the thing: if you’re a woman who is constantly bringing in cupcakes, at what point do you need to drop the whisk, hold your hands up, and accept your part in your own office narrative?

Your colleagues don’t need to know every facet of your personality. They don’t need to see the nurturing, cupcake-baking side of you. Stop doing the things that will get you labeled as the ‘office mom’ or the ‘team cheerleader’. Save the caring part of you for the people who’ve earned it, who might include some colleagues.

It’s frustrating, sure. But if you want to be known for something work-related, make that the thing you do.